India: 29 December 2011 3:15 PM

To say that India is overwhelming is an incredible understatement. For me, someone who prefers the quiet of the countryside, it’s like filling a box with electrified rocks, sticking your head into it, and shaking it vigorously.

The sheer volume of people is staggering, but it’s not obvious on the sidewalks here like I imagine it would be in New York. Instead, they clog the roads, forming a single seething mass of honking, zipping motorbikes and rickshaws. Everything is covered in the dust and soot belched by the millions of two-stroke engines. The trees, which are grand by any measure, are turned from green to dull dray, so coated are they with pollution.

There is turmeric under the fingernails of my right hand, which I have been using to scoop food up in chapatti, just like my hosts. My attempts to use only one hand to eat have been less than perfectly successful, but I am trying, anyway. Soon we will leave for the menhandi, where our hand will be painted with henna. Yesterday’s menhandi, for Neha’s relatives, was done in the Maharashtrian style. Today’s, for Abhinav’s relatives, will be done in the Punjabi style. I am told this involves more music and dancing.

India: 29 December 2011

My arrival in India was not smooth, though at least I had my luggage. The upside to packing all of your clothes in a carry-on and struggling with it on the plane is that the airline has no opportunity to lose it for you. I arrived with all my clothes–if not my sanity–intact. Twenty-three hours shoved in a sardine can hurtling through the atmosphere does take a toll on one.

But anway, Mumbai. I was surprised to find that at 1:30 am, three days after Christmas, they were piping smooth jazz Christmas carols into the Mumbai passport control area. A little Christmas saxophone while you fill out the customs forms. I noticed a plant arrangement in the entrance to the passport control area that was surrounded by tiny red clay (maybe) balls that I had originally made seen in planters in the Frankfurt airport. (Yes, I was the crazy lady in Frankfurt, shoving her hands into the planters to figure out what the weird balls were.) They are light, about the size of marbles, and very (if not perfectly) round. They are red like Oklahoma, or like Mars, depending on your context. I wondered if there was some kind of airport supply catalog that one could order them from, as they were a really neat textural element.

I wrote this while I stood in line.

“I am in Mumbai, standing in a passport control line that appears to go on forever. I am too hot, in my layers made for Oklahoma winter, and the sweat coats my skin. I have been awake for more than 24 hours, and I swear if the kid behind me bumps into me one more time, I will shank him. It is taking every ounce of willpower in my body not to turn around, box his ears, and give him a culturally inappropriate, if not downright racist, lecture on personal space. It occurs to me that my hatred of crowds might make this trip problematic for me. I am desperate for a shower. The music piped in is Christmas carols on the saxophone. Purgatory. I have four hours in a taxi to look forward to.”

After about the tenth time that the kid behind me bumped into me, his father, no doubt alarmed by the glares I directed at his child, moved the poor kid behind him in line, so as not to annoy the overstimulated, cranky American.

As it turned out, a kid bumping into me over and over again in line was going to be the least of my arrival-time woes.

Berlin (Again, Always): Biesdorf-Sued

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23 July 2010 17:00 (5:00 pm)

I am at the Biesdorf-Sued U-Bahn station, at least half an hour before I am supposed to be here. I would call Steven to let him know that I am early, but I think that might stress him out nearly as much as me being late. So I will just sit here, with my quarter of a watermelon and bouquet of peonies. Maybe I will listen to some music, or Elizabeth Gilbert’s audiobook. It is raining, the drops echoing on the corrugated steel roof of the station. It is almost cool enough to want a jacket. Okay, I am already regretting not bringing a jacket.

Tomorrow I will go with Diana to the camping place. I expect I will stay the night there. I find this to be a less awkward prospect than staying with Kevin, which is where I am staying tonight. I am not sure that Kevin even knows–it was arranged through Steven, and Kevin’s mother.

The last time I sat this long at this station, I was waiting like a crazy person, hoping to run into someone as he left to go somewhere. (I just happened to be passing through, and thought I’d stick around). I do hope I have outgrown that kind of stupid, but judging by my behavior with a certain few gentlemen who shall remain nameless, sources point to no.

I am slowly growing accustomed to being untethered. I think I could probably get to like it quite a bit. The trick is, then, to get a grip on my running internal monologue. Hopefully scrawling in this little notebook will do just that.

Berlin (Again, Always): Divine Sensation

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It is raining, tonight, and the smell of wet concrete drifts in through Cora’s open window, rifling past the cheap lace curtains. In the distance, wetly, there are sirens.

It seems that recently the sensations of places have become as important as the sights. Berlin, this trip, has been as full of tastes as Dundee has been of smells.

First on the taste front was falafel, the best I’ve ever had. The crunchy, granular treat was hand molded before our eyes by a man in a tiny stall, a galley kitchen scarcely wider than a closet. He formed the falafel, tinted green with herbs, spinning his stainless steel falafel form, scraping off the excess with another steel implement, occasionally smooshing the falafel to be more flat than round. While they fried, he carefully lined bread with snappy slices of cucumber, fire-engine red tomatoes, and a generous helping of spaghetti-noodle-thin grated carrots. He arranged mint leaves among and across the crispy brown falafel, and spread a ginger nut paste on the bread, followed by a spicy mango sauce and a drizzle of yogurt.

It was a divine combination of textures and tastes. Hot falafel, crunchy on the outside but almost mashed potato smooth on the inside, layered against the cool vegetables and yogurt. The ginger was subtle, and the mango sauce had a character not entirely unlike mustard. The sweet carrots and the warm bread and the occasional suprising pop of mint all played in a suprisingly harmonious symphany, the complexity never quite descending into complete chaos. This, upon reflection, is much like Berlin herself: divine.

Today, Cora introduced me to handmade licorice candies. Walking along the tree-lined streets of Kreuzberg after a lunch of flatbread pizza (hers with mushrooms, arugula [that's rocket to the non-yanks], and Parmesan, and mine with eggplant [aubergine] and grilled zucchini), we discovered a shop selling only licorice sweets. Four standing cases, golden wood with clear panels to allow for people to view the candies, stood in the store. Each case held two rows of shiny black candies of various shapes and makes. One case was even labeled as very strong candy for adults only. Cora, whose great love is licorice, had the young gentleman pick her a few candies from numerous bins, occasionally asking questions as he spooned the candies into a cone-shaped brown paper bag.

A few pieces of these, she would say.

Of the mice? He would ask. (This was all taking place in German, of course).

Yes, and a few of those there as well, describing the next candy that caught her interest.

And so it continued, until she was satisfied with our treasure and we left.

We tasted the candies as we walked, starting with thin strings of candy, black and flexible. They were soft almost to the point of being cake-like, dense like fudgy brownies, and so reminiscent of molasses that the licorice was undetectable to me.

The second, small and round like a shiny black button, was complex (so complex!) and herbal, or maybe even floral, like roses (or maybe chamomille and lilac).

The third, light in color, and covered in sugar, tasted so strongly of anise that it left no doubt about its licoricy origins.

The final treat from our walk was a mild one, filled with a honey-nougat and tinged with mint. The salty warm softness of the honey nougat provided an interesting textural contrast to the elastic anise of the enveloping licorice candy.

Now I am trying a strange one, squishy like a jelly snack but cubic and covered in sugar. It is surprisingly salty–Cora says strong licorice is often paired with salt.

I used to hate licorice. Now I am a convert. More crazy complexity than dark chocolate, folks.

Also this week I have dined on currywurst, at what is purportedly the best currywurst in Berlin (though Steven disagrees.) Steven bought my dinner, curry wurst with pommes -rotweiss, meaning with both ketchup and mayonnaise. For the first time in my life I willingly ate mayonnaise on my french fries, and found it, to my surprise, delightful. The currywurst was nothing to write home about–having the texture somewhere between the texture of a hotdog and the omlette used in sushi. It is served with ketchup, and is only very subtly spiced with curry. I am not quite sure what the big deal is. The fries, hoever, were amazing. Long and thin, salty and crispy, dipped into the smooth mayonnaise and paired with the punchy ketchup. Divine.

Berlin (Again, Always): Bookended With Kindness

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20 July 2010, In the late evening.

Today just really didn’t go as well as I had planned.

Through a series of preventable errors, my laptop got soaked with water, and even after drying refuses to turn on. Zack thinks this means the motherboard is fried. I am inclined to agree.

So tomorrow I am going netbook shopping. This is not how I envisioned spending my Berlin “vacation”, but these things happen. Getting inconsolable about it will not help things.

My day was sprinkled with kind women. On the plane today I sat next to a voluptuous woman born and raised in what was formerly Rhodesia and is now Zimbabwe. She is married now, and lives in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She and her husband were vacationing after a mission trip in Romania, where they were ministering to gypsies. She bought a watch with a hidden heart design on the plane, the first time I had ever seen anyone buy something from an in-flight magazine. She was so kind and motherly, gently moving my pillow aside while I slept to show the flight attendent that I was buckled up. She asked me about my studies and my family, and told me about her people. It was one of the first times in a long time that a stranger had offered me such warmth.

The other kind woman was my second taxi driver this morning. After taxiing to the train station the first time, I realized that I had left the notebook with all of my flight and contact information written in it. So I had to take a taxi back to the flat to get it, and then back to the train station. The woman who drove me was chatty and kind, so sweet to me in my unslept, unkempt, disheveled and disheartened state. She wished me well.

Berlin (Again, Always): And So We Meet Again

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The moment I stepped off the plane in Berlin, I knew I was overdressed. Maybe it was the pink cupcake hat that my sister knitted for me, or maybe it was the trousers and t-shirt, but if it was so hot at 7 PM, then midday was going to be a disaster. I walked slowly from the gate to the luggage carousel, praying that my friends hadn’t decided to surprise me at the gate with their presences, or a big hooplah. “Please let them not meet me at the gate” I chanted mentally, hoping that no one would be there to see me in my traveler’s state, unslept the night before and having traveled all day. I was sweaty, tired, and disheveled–not in good shape to face people I hadn’t seen in years, and specifically not the boy who broke my heart.

And there at the gate, was Philip. He threw me a peace sign, and I sighed as I waited at the carousel for my luggage, thankful that I had some time to gather my wits before being confronted with Joris and Jona. (Philip, I could handle. Philip has pulled me out of several scrapes in the past, and I would follow him into hell. But Jona takes lots of mental energy and Joris… Well, suffice to say he’s always been heart-achingly beautiful, and now full of emotional baggage.)

So I gathered my bags and met them outside the gate, where we exchanged somewhat awkward hugs and even more awkward small talk. I momentarily registered (or possibly imagined) a flicker of shock across their faces, a momentary lack of recognition, a “Who are you and what have you done with the girl we saw four years ago?” (No, it totally wasn’t the 30+ pounds I’d gained since 2006. It was totally the cupcake hat). I quickly convinced myself that if I didn’t imagine it, it didn’t matter anyway because there wasn’t anything I could do about it. And so we pressed on through the airport. I carried my own bags.

We sat together on the bus, still making awkward small talk about weather and travel. My friends, as handsome as they have always been, spoke sometimes German and sometimes English, and I answered them in English (my German, as yet, too rusty from time and travel to be functional. Throughout the bus ride, listening to them, I could practically hear my mind screaming with effort, trying to shift back into the long-disused second tongue.) Jona talked about a cake he was planning to make, something that required no baking and included mango, and before long we parted ways, Philip and I continuing on the subway and Joris and Jona on the bus.

Philip departed a short way into our subway trip, and I was left alone on the subway.

It was time to reaquaint myself with the city of my heart.

Fog and Faces

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I walked Kate home in the fog, conversation with her soothing my soul. The evening had passed with cookies, tonic wine, and bullshit (though I only partook of the latter of those three). Caoimhe’s siblings were in town for a visit, and the craic was good tonight. I attempted to get the exclusive rights to Cormick’s (I hope I have that spelled correctly, but have no illusions that I do) biography, but he signed the post-it note contract with his stage name, so I doubt it’s legally binding. Caoimhe and her sister have the same beautiful dark hair and the same beautiful alabaster skin. Ashleyne (again, forgive my spelling) has a coy, flirtatious manner, a come-hither cock of her head, a smile with half-lidded eyes. I imagine watching her and Caoimhe together is much like watching my sister and I together–similar expressions on similar faces, each sister adding a unique twist, some personal flair. Ashleyne was wearing clothing borrowed from Caoimhe’s closet in Ireland. Her top had a trim on it that was reminiscent to me of gingerbread houses–it had large, nearly luminescent yellow beads that reminded me of lemon drops, interspersed with sprinkly-type things. I am sure that many people would agree, she looked good enough to eat. For that matter, so did her sister, and Alicia, and Kate, in spite of the poor thing’s massive hangover. I’m not sure how I ended up surrounded by such amazingly beautiful, talented women, but I am fortunate indeed.

I sometimes envy sisters who share clothing. Kate routinely raids Hazel’s wardrobe, though she is careful to attribute the items of clothing to her sister if you pay her a compliment on a borrowed garment–Credit where credit is due. Caoimhe and Ashleyne share clothing, as well. My sister and I have tastes too divergent for swapping (okay, taste and ass sizes, but who is counting?). On the other hand, Caoimhe and Ashleyne sharing clothing may turn out to be convenient for Alicia and I–Alicia is trying to pare down her wardrobe, so we are hoping to send Ashleyne home to Ireland in Alicia’s clothing, leaving the borrowed clothes of Caoimhe’s with Caoimhe.

The fog transformed the gardens on Blackness Avenue into fairy wonderlands. I came across a flower I had never seen before, something like a dianthus, a deep rich red with velvet petals. The center of the flowers held drops of water, sparkling in the orange glow from the street lamps. A crinkly, fluffy ranunculus, like a fancy lady’s ball gown undergarments, dripped moisture onto the soft green grass.

It was walking home in the fog and the nighttime that I remembered that this was one of the things that I had loved best about Berlin. I loved my slow strolls through the quiet, dark city, in the damp and beautiful. If nothing else, I will have that to look forward to, in my upcoming trip.

The pubbers have returned home now–I can hear Caoimhe’s laugh ringing up the back of the house. Now they are laughing and talking in the living room, no doubt rehashing and filling people in on any craic that anyone missed. Cormick was only in Dundee for four hours before he found a place to DJ–an impressive feat, except that he’s Irish and a McMahon, and that is how they roll. They’re like magic. If I could bottle and sell McMahon Mojo I would be a millionaire.

I am a fortunate girl, indeed.

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